Moving Day

It’s moving day! No, I am not moving from my current home at Miracle Camp, but I am moving from one blogosphere to another.

I am making the move from blogspot to my new and improved wordpress blog space. If you have been keeping track of my blog at all, then make the move with me and read my (hopefully more regular) blog posts here. Though initially I did not like the idea of having to figure out a new blog site, I think I'm going to find that I like it better.

Check out my new space. Make yourself at home. Peace out blogspot.

A Dedication to Miracle Camp

The winter months have seriously flown by incredibly quickly. Our two month span of weekend Ice Camps is now complete, which is crazy to think about! I thought that two months of a continuous cycle of crazy-fun weekends would seem to never end, but here we are...in March. Winter winds and snow have been immediately replaced by more sun than I have seen in the past few months, rain, and slightly warmer weather. Spring is in the air, which for me means...SUMMER is right around the corner.

Miracle Camp and Retreat Center is most well-known as a Christian summer camp in Michigan. Now that Ice Camps are done, we are on to preparations for summer camp! Scheduling, programming, promoting, summer staff hiring...these are just a few things that my spring will consist of as we prepare for summer camp in Michigan!! The year is simply flying by, but I am getting so excited for the preparations for the summer and all that it will hold.

Miracle Camp is such an incredible place...there's just no place like it. When I was in high school, my friend Rachel invited me to come with her to a Christian summer camp in Michigan called Miracle Camp. I can honestly say that Miracle Camp has become such a major part of my testimony, and I truly love this place. I may be presenting a biased viewpoint (and by I may be...I mean that I totally am!), but if you are looking for a God-centered, fun-filled place to send your kids, attend camp, or place to work then you should seriously consider this Christian summer camp in Michigan!

I am excited for all that this spring is going to hold as we work and prepare for summer camp. I didn't think that I would be here for another summer, but here I am! Bring it on!

*Oh and feel free to write a similar blog to tag Miracle Camp in as a Christian summer camp in Michigan to help us become legit to the Google search engines :-)

The Call

I know my call despite my faults

And despite my growing fears

I love the truth that this line from a Mumford & Sons song expresses. The truthfulness in the lyrics and the emotion that comes out through each of their songs is one of the many reasons why I love listening to this now trendy and popular group. They are not afraid to be raw or to sing about the questions they wrestle with, which I appreciate.

Recently I have found myself choosing this group because as I have let myself feel deeply and wrestle with things in my own life, I identify with and need to listen to music that cries out just as I too am crying out.

I am learning more and more what I feel like my call in life is (though the next step in my life is still very unclear), but as I learn I experience the fears that go along with this call. I have had to wrestle with a lot of truth about myself, where I am personally, and face the desires that I have for myself that I may need to let go of in order to follow my call *Insert fear here*

I still have a lot of decisions to make, a lot that I need to let go of and work through, but one thing that I must remember in all of this is that I must hold on to the truth. Truth of who God is and the truth of what He has called me to in this life. I definitely have faults that make me feel unworthy and I have growing fears because of the uncertainty of the future, but I am learning to rest in the fact that I am called. I have a call. I just need to get over my hill and see what I find there...

Adventures

In the past week or so, I have had a renewed sense of appreciation for where I am right now in my life. More specifically, I have been reminded of how much I have right at my fingertips because I live at a camp. I can play in a gym and game room for fun. I have a living space, utilities, the majority of meals (not to mention toilet paper) provided for me, which will probably never happen again in my life. In addition to all of this, I have the great outdoors all the time! When it is warm, I have a beach and lake. When it is cold, I have a ton of snow and tobogganing.

I don’t take enough of an advantage of all that I have right here, right now. I was once again reminded of this fact yesterday when I took part in some great outdoor adventures with some of my wonderful fellow co-workers. I got trained on the toboggan run, which of course means that we had to take a couple of practice runs down the hill...just to test it out. You know how that goes. We tested out the cross country skiis, and I found out how awkwardly uncoordinated I am at it. Well, not necessarily uncoordinated. Let’s just place more emphasis on the awkward...and slow. Very slow.

Later in the afternoon after work, a few of us went on a bit of an exploration. We walked across Little Bankson (a little pond named after the lake camp is on called Bankson Lake). I have never had the experience of walking across an iced over body of water. The most ice I have walked on consists of a puddle...on solid ground. We had a great time walking across the lake, exploring a covered bridge, and wandering through some potential property before returning back to camp. I realized as we were wandering around and exploring how much I love adventures and how few of them I actually allow myself to have. I think all of us secretly (or maybe not so secretly) love adventures and thrill. The scale by which we judge this thrill is different for each person, but we all experience some form of exhilaration from stepping out and doing something different than the usual, something that has a slight edge of dangerousness (hey, I could have fallen through the ice at any moment), and something that challenges us to do something new.

Why is it that I limit myself to what I know? Why is it that I cling to security and familiarity? Why do I fear the unknown, the new, and the different so much? I honestly don’t know the reason for this, but my speculation is that I fear so much because I trust so little. I’m not talking about not trusting people. Rather, I think these fears come out of a lack of trust in God. It's not like I'm blatantly not trusting Him, but it seems that I’m basically saying, “I like my box. It’s nice and comfortable, and most of the time I can anticipate things. Sure I’m flexible, but from the comfort of my box.” This box does not refer to my life at camp, but rather how I view my life and the possibilities that it holds. Until I truly believe that God wants to use me, and until I view God as big and powerful enough to work in mighty ways every day of my life, then I will be confined to my box. I will never see the adventure in my everyday life. I don't want to limit myself or God. I want adventures.

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." -A.W. Tozer

With This Ring...

This past weekend, I was at the wedding of two amazing friends. My excitement as the weekend approached was comparable to a kid on Christmas Eve. Not only was I able to witness the wedding of my friends, but I was able to share the celebration with some of my best friends.

Grant and Laura’s wedding was absolutely beautiful. I don’t think I have teared up more at a wedding than at this one. Their wedding ceremony was full of personal touches and was so God-centered. I have been a witness of their story. The joy of being able to be a part of this day along with all of our friends, who were also witnesses to their whole relationship, brought so much more meaning to the day. The reception wasn’t half bad either :-) I ate probably some of the best food I’ve ever had in my life, hands down the best wedding DJ, and had tons of fun dancing and being ridiculous with friends.

I loved being able to catch up with all of my friends. We’ve been apart for months now, but we can all still come together and pick up where we’ve left off. We share a special bond like no other. I was so encouraged by the stories of my friends. So many of them are now involved in some form of ministry. We all studied and worked alongside of each other, challenging one another to be better, to think deeply, and to keep going as we dedicated our lives to ministry. Now as we come together, we are able to hear about life and how we are dedicating our lives to our ministries...through the good and bad.

This weekend was amazing. A large chunk of me wished that we could go back to our Taylor days, and my heart hurt a bit as I said goodbye so quickly to these dear friends. The short time we were together encouraged me so much. Just like during our Taylor days, these dear friends of mine encouraged me to keep going, to keep pursuing holiness and godliness, to keep dedicating myself to the work that has been placed before me. They did this all without words. I guess that just goes to show what kind of friends I have, and I cannot express in words how thankful I am for them. I am blessed.

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart...”

-Philippians 1:3-7a

Delayed Reaction

I have been doing a lot of internal processing lately. I am usually a verbal processor with my close friends, but I am finding that those opportunities are not as frequent as they once used to be. I am into a new phase in my life, which has been full of new and wonderful things, but I am still finding some of the change to be difficult.

I’m going to write as if you and I were sitting together chatting over a cup of coffee. Consider this a good heart to heart...the verbal processing if you will. I think I am having a delayed reaction to all of the change in my life. After the summer, I thought I was going to miss going back to Taylor, miss school, miss the learning and challenging environment, and feel a gaping hole in my heart by the separation from my friends. I expected this year to be a year of loneliness. I think I have a fear of being left behind or something, so the idea of staying at camp while the 50 summer staff (and some of my closest friends) moved on and away from me was a painful idea for me.

However, I was completely wrong. Don’t you LOVE when that happens (*note slight sarcasm here)? I almost immediately found that the “quieter” camp life was exactly what I needed after finishing a full summer of camp, which had immediately followed my most difficult semester (workload-wise) and graduation from Taylor.

I am now four months into the internship, which is crazy to think about. It hasn’t always been wonderful, and I have had rough days here and there, but you know as well as I do that no matter where you go or what you do there will always be those days. I think that it is because I now feel settled here that I am facing the delayed reaction to everything. I have found that I am missing people more frequently. I am missing the ease in which I used to be able to talk and hang out with friends. I’m not only referring to my friends at Taylor, but my close friends from home and camp. The change in my schedule plus the lackage of cell phone reception at camp makes communicating with people much more of an effort and requires more of those who wish to talk and catch up with me. To those who have made the effort to track me down, get a hold of me, set up a skype chat, etc.: it has meant the world to me.

I would go on more and more about what else my delayed reaction has caused me to miss and want, but the point of this coffee chat of ours is not so I can whine and have a “woe is me” type of conversation. The point is more to note that I am processing a ton right now... a lot of it is the result of my delayed reaction. Through my processing, I am realizing just how much I need to work on in my own life. There are so many areas that I am falling short in right now. One thing that is true of my expectation of this yearlong internship is that I would have a lot of time to face who I am. You learn a lot about yourself when it’s just you and God. Ironically, I have been seeking more alone time at night than is characteristic of me (the extrovert). Maybe this is because I am in a phase of seeking...seeking to discover who I am in that alone time, seeking time to challenge myself, and ultimately seeking God, who I know has the answers I seek.

When Words Fail

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
— C.S. Lewis

I began writing a more extensive blog addressing this quote, but I have found that tonight my words are failing me. I will instead let this amazing quote by C.S. Lewis speak for me. If you are reading this, then I encourage you to keep on loving others. Keep on trusting. Don't get me wrong, it hurts...a lot, but don't build up the walls. Break them down. Be vulnerable. Don't give up.